Call Me Maybe…

ImageKelan just picked up an old non-working cell phone and proceeded to have the following conversation with “Zannie” his cousin whom he adores.  (Again, the phone doesn’t work.  He made the whole thing up as he walked around the house with his hand on his hip.)

“Hi Zannie.  (pause) Nufin’ jus pwayin’ bas-ka-ball.  Yeah.  (pause) You at cow-lege?  You in cwass?  Huh.  You not home yet?  Oh. (pause) Tian at kool.  (pause) Chicken.  (pause) Bas-ka-ball in the hoop in the tichen.  (pause) My phone gotta charge.”

At which point he “hung up”, handed me the phone and said “You gotta charge my phone mom.  Pwug it in.”  He then went over to his Leap Pad, played “Call Me Maybe” and began to dance wildly.

I laughed and took his phone and started thinking about how that conversation played out inside his 2-year-old brain.  I figured it must have gone something like this…

Pretend Zan “Hello.”

Kelan “Hi Zannie.”

Pretend Zan “Hi Kelan.  What are you doing?”

Kelan “Nufin’ jus pwayin’ bas-ka-ball.”

Pretend Zan “Are you having fun?”

Kelan “Yeah.  You at cow-lege?”

Pretend Zan “Yep I’m at college.”

Kelan “You in cwass?”

Pretend Zan “Ya buddy, I’m in class.”

Kelan “Huh. You not home yet?”

Pretend Zan “No, I’m not home yet.”

Kelan “Oh.”

Pretend Zan “Where’s Kian?”

Kelan “Tain at kool.”

Pretend Zan “What did you have for lunch?”

Kelan “Chicken.”

Pretend Zan “What are you going to do after you eat?”

Kelan “Bas-ka-ball in the hoop in the tichen.  My phone gotta charge.”

Pretend Zan “Ok.  Bye buddy.”

However, your guess is as good as mine.


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Meghan Dwyer

Meghan K. Dwyer is an aspiring writer, misanthrope, cystic fibrosis advocate, wife and mother of four beautiful children. She lives in rural Western New York with her husband Chris and their four children Braeden, Kian, Kelan, and Ailey. She has a love of writing and in her spare time, enjoys a good book, sharing a glass of wine with friends or family and gardening. The name of her blog A Message of Mean from Meghan was inspired by an email containing that title, which was sent to her sister and friend. Her writing is full of sarcasm and truthful, yet at times, abrasive humor. Her blog is about sharing her thoughts of her day, confessions as a mother, and opinions about life in general as a kind of therapy. Meghan has written two romance novels in her Ellington Manor Series- a three book publication. When One Door Closes and Almost Forgotten are both available now on and Barns&, as well as her other works, A Message of Mean from Meghan and newly published Confessions of a Bad Mom. She is currently working on Hoping for Happiness, the final book in the Ellington Manor Series.

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