My Vacation…


Calgon- where the hell are you?! I’m in need of being taken away- far away from my house.

Kelan just dumped a large bottle of Easter bubbles down the cold air return for the furnace.

Kian decided to play in his beef-a-roni and just walked down the hall giggling while beef-a-roni sauce dripped off his covered hand onto the floor. Smearing the red slop on the door handle of “his bathroom,” he entered, laughing, to wash his hands.

Kelan decided to follow and dumped the remaining meal down the front of him.

Whilst cleaning that up along with what I could of the bubble mess, Ailey threw up all over herself and the highchair. Exhausted she sobbed and rubbed her tired little eyes. I cleaned her up along with the high chair and carried her up to bed for a nap.

Braeden all the while has contributed to this chaos by complaining incessantly because he’s “sooooooo bored” and it’s “sooooo cold” outside.

The children, having been closed up inside this house for months, are literally climbing the walls like caged monkeys at the zoo.

My head is pounding and I’m feeling cabin feverish myself. I’m afraid if I don’t get out of this house and do something- anything- it’s going to start looking like a scene from The Shining around here. I can’t help but feel completely green about my friends and family vacationing. My sister sent me pictures today of sunny Key West- as I looked out my window at 2 in of fresh snow. I told her “Don’t send me anymore pictures!”

Please excuse my melancholia and jealousy, but the only vacation I’ve taken recently- is the Big Guilt Trip that every mother has had the privilege of traveling. Multiple times a day I pack my bags and head off to Guilt Ville. Where I contemplate my parenting faux pas and all the wonderful things I do as a mother that is surely going to qualify my children for psychotherapy at some point in their lives. Exhaustion and lack of personal time and space are typically the main catalysts for my journey.

I just spoke with a friend whom I begged to “save me” from Ruby and Max and The Disney Channel! I explained that my typically high tolerance for loud vehicle type noises and wild running throughout the house, is totally in the red=danger zone. My mother, understanding my plight better than most, (having been stranded on a hill five miles outside of the city with four children for 40 years herself) called to offer some solace at her house. Unfortunately, the baby (after 20 minutes of fussing due to her wild brothers raising hell) just fell asleep.

So here I sit- changing poopie diapers, listening to irritating vehicle noises, watching wildly running and complaining children. While the cold wind blows and the snow spits outside my window- begging Calgon to take me away and complaining to you. I curse you winter and your lugubriously lingering season!

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