It seems as though it’s been a long time since I’ve sat and written just for me. My life seems to have kicked into an even higher gear than it was five months ago. With my husband now in paramedic school and working full-time, he’s become a ghost at home and I’ve become a single parent- temporarily. I’m immensely proud of his diligence and often think of how glad I am that it’s him doing this and not me. I’m not exactly an academic.
So my new role as single parent has left me with even less personal time than I had before. I’m not complaining, just explaining- I’ve had a number of people ask me why I’ve not written in a while as they look forward to my posts- a wonderful compliment. As always, I’ve not lacked for material, quite the contrary in fact. Kelan has become particularly articulate and has joined his older brothers in their chirpping choir of sarcasm. Ailey has taken up walking and has mastered the baby gate blocking the stairs. We’ve now removed it and after three days of heart stopping anxiety she has become proficient at fully navigating them- both up and down. Company still pops in to partake in the chaos and I frequently find myself apologizing for the appearance of both myself and my home. I’ve had to explain that at this point in my life it’s all about survival. If everyone is semi-clean, fed and uninjured it’s a banner day!
Mother’s day this year was wonderful. I was alone with the kids- they slept until eight thirty! All of them- an unprecedented event. I received a beautiful homemade card from Braeden. We shopped for flowers in the freezing cold and snow, had McDonald’s for lunch and all took naps. I loved every second of it! The simplicity of the day and its events are what made it so special.
Kian asked me, as we walked downstairs together that morning, “What shall we get you for Mom’s day today?”
I replied “You’ve already given me a wonderful gift by sleeping in sweetie.”
“No, but what shall we get you for a gift!” He responded exasperated.
I laughed and hugged him thinking of how little he knew what a great gift sleep is!
Sometimes I feel like I’m so lucky to have such a simplified life. We don’t do much or go very far- not yet anyway. All of that will come in time, when the children are older. I don’t get my haircut, nails done, or buy clothes for myself often. If I have the extra money for that sort of thing, I spend it on things the kids need or flowers or something special for dinner. And the thing is- I don’t think twice about it, at all. I was thinking the other day about the things that really make me happy- aside from my family and friends. It’s not shopping or spa visits, which are wonderful. But what makes me really happy are simple things like planting flowers and working in my garden. A glass of wine on the front porch with a friend. And writing- I love to write. To sit at my desk and put words on the screen and see where it all goes. Being able to work on a chapter of my book, on my balcony, when my house is clean and the children are sleeping.
My recent parental role change has prohibited that a tad. However, I’m not completely off the radar. Have no fear! A message of mean is still around, although the messages may be more about exhaustion than mean- or they may get meaner due to exhaustion. Either way, I’m still writing!