And this is why…


A trip to the grocery store yesterday left me with some fine examples of why I’d like a Taser gun.

And this is why…

For the man who decided he was exempt from the four-way stop sign and glided through it while smiling at me and giving me the “Hey thanks for letting me pass” wave- TASER to the temple.

For the moron driving through parking spaces instead of in the designated traffic lanes in the grocery store parking lot, who pulled out in front of me narrowly missing the front right bumper of my car.  Causing me to swerve almost hitting a pedestrian, spike my brakes and obnoxiously blow my horn- only to then audaciously scream “F*#@! U” at me from her crapped up vehicle- TAAAAAAASER!!!!

For the new employee at the grocery store who’s not familiar with my hundred-plus trips a week and decided she was going to outsmart me when she snidely asked for my i.d. to buy the six-pack of Coors Light I was unloading along with other groceries, “Um, yeah, I’m going to need to see your i.d. before I can go any further.”  Normally I’d take this as a huge compliment, however in this particular case the twit was condescending and snotty.  I smiled and said, “Sure just a moment and I’ll get it for you,” to which she scoffed and replied, “You DO have it don’t you?  Because you CAN’T buy this beer without it.”  I paused in placing a giant box of diapers on the belt and glared at her.  Dropping the box back in the cart, I dug out the license in question and threw it down the belt at her.  She stood examining it, and me, for two full minutes before proceeding.  All the while I was thinking, “Victim number three. “

That was three people in a matter of twenty minutes.  Can you imagine how many I’d take out in a full day?  This is why I can’t have a one.

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