An Email Exchange…

An email exchange between me and my best friend. 

Have you started running yet?


Hi! Yes, I have started running and will be going tonight when I get home. B has a game at 6, but it only takes 15- 20 mins. Let me know .


I have to work late tonight, probably 6ish and I have to get the kids from my mother in law. J is supposed to have a game at 4:30 – and she will take him, but I assume it will be canceled. I will call you and maybe we can go later this evening, but don’t wait for me as it probably won’t work out for me as my life is nothing less than insane!


Is Big Guy gone? You can always bring the kids up to my house so we can run quickly. Whatever works? I know all about insane. I wonder if they will cancel the games. I thought they only cancelled if there was thunder and lightning?


Yep – but he is coming home late tonight. Maybe that would work. The field is so wet and it hasn’t stopped raining for 2 days, I can’t imagine that they will have it I want to tan tonight too. I have been trying to go for a week and a half and haven’t been able to get there yet. I am a simple person. Is it wrong to ask for five minutes a day for me???


Yes. Yes it is. We are slaves to our family. There is no time for us. Our husbands can take a two hour poop with the door locked, completely uninterrupted, but we can’t even take a shower or change a tampon. There is to be no tanning, exercising, reading of books, talking on the phone, going to the store alone, drinking of wine, using the bathroom alone under any circumstance or any type of relaxation of any kind. We will never catch up on laundry, the house will never be clean, there will always be dishes and you will not be able to enjoy yourself without guilt for at least another fifteen years. That type of stuff comes much later when we’re in a nursing home and we sit catatonic, staring out a window, while we wait for someone to change our diaper. And we won’t care- because our life has been the slavery mentioned above for years. Running kids to dance, basketball games, baseball and soccer in pouring rain and thirty degree weather, daycare, working late, working early, cleaning, homework, boogered noses, hacking coughs, ER visits at four am, two hours of sleep a night for four weeks, hemorrhoids, scaly feet, husbands that need choking, co-works who need to be lit on fire, broken windshield wipers in snowstorms, cooking five dinners to make everyone happy. And so by the time it’s our turn, all we’ll want, is to stare out a window in a catatonic state while defecating in our pants. Because- it’ll be time for SOMEONE ELSE TO TAKE CARE OF THE SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



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