Mine’s bigger than yours…


I keep forgetting to write this down and it was so funny that I want to make sure I remember it and can share it with my boys when they’re older.

The other day, I was getting the kids around for school and getting myself ready to go to work. My two youngest boys, Kain and Kelan (7 and 4) have a habit of running into the bathroom and peeing together.  There they stood, hip to hip- picture little sleepy faces, rumpled hair and scratching of tiny hinnies.  I walked past the bathroom to put my shoes on and said a small prayer to the toilet god to make their aim be true.

For one reason or another, these trips almost always result in some type of hilarious conversation between the two of them.  And this morning’s conversation was nothing to sneeze at.

Kelan, “Why does it take you so long to go pee pee?”

Kian, “I don’t know.”

~Pause~ (I could actually visualize the wheels turning in Kian’s head)

Kian, “Because your peeper is a lot bigger than mine.”

Kelan, washing his hands, “Oh.”

Kian, “Yeah, your peeper is bigger than mine.  So you can pee a lot faster.”  And with that conclusion satisfied, they walked out of the bathroom.

Stuck with horrified amusement I said to my husband, “Really?”

He simply walked around the corner with his hands up, laughing and replied, “Boys, honey.  Boys.”

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Meghan Dwyer

Meghan K. Dwyer is an aspiring writer, misanthropist, cystic fibrosis advocate, wife and mother of four beautiful children. She lives in rural Western New York with her husband Chris and their four children Braeden, Kian, Kelan, and Ailey. She has a love of writing and in her spare time, enjoys a good book, sharing a glass of wine with friends or family and gardening. The name of her blog A Message of Mean from Meghan was inspired by an email containing that title, which was sent to her sister and friend. Her writing is full of sarcasm and truthful, yet at times, abrasive humor. Her blog is about sharing her thoughts of her day, confessions as a mother, and opinions about life in general as a kind of therapy. Meghan has written two romance novellas in her Ellington Manor Series- a three book publication. When One Door Closes and Almost Forgotten are both available now on Amazon.com and Barns&Noble.com, as well as her other works, A Message of Mean from Meghan and newly published Confessions of a Bad Mom. She is currently working on Hoping for Happiness, the final book in the Ellington Manor Series.

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