Fa-la-la-la-la and creepy elves…


The past several months have been a whirlwind.  I’ve had little time or energy to write.  However, there is nothing like the holiday season to add inspiration when I’m lacking.  This is a magical time of the year when I tell my liver to hang in there and be strong while I try to consume as much water as alcohol.

In fact, this morning a shot of whiskey in my coffee was contemplated when Elfie, our family’s creepy Christmas Elf, forgot to move from his spot during the night.  Well versed in this situation, I quickly explained to my children that he must enjoy his spot and was not ready to move.  This calmed their distress and thankfully we moved on from the immediate hysteria- on their part.

However, it’s just beginning with me.  I will spend the next several weeks frantic about this little creepo and his placement within our house.  In addition to my stress about Elfie, the kids have accelerated in their Christmas cheer and excitement and express it by fighting constantly with each other- which helps with the elf placement.

A serious of  heated “nuh-huh” and “uh-huh” arguments have already taken place just this morning.  One such argument even occurred while one brother was sitting on the toilet in the downstairs bathroom and the other was on the couch.  They yelled back and forth at each other- while playing two-player Minecraft and arguing over the game.  This was all before 7:45 am.

So the holiday cheer is ever abundant at 157 Dennis Ave.  And the moment I sat down to write about it, regardless of what they’d been previously doing, every child in my house immediately needed my attention.

One of life’s greatest rules as a mother: If you want your child’s attention, pick up the phone, try to go to the bathroom or sit down.  There is a 99.9 % chance that they will immediately need you- to wipe them, make them something to eat, get them something to drink, ask you a 1000 questions that make your head hurt, fight over who’s in the bathroom (even though you have 3), and a million other varied situations.

With that said, my time is nearly up.  I can hear the heighten discussions and “Mommy” calls from my secret hiding spot- I’m sitting on the tiny stool in the downstairs bathroom with the door locked.  So off I go to quell the mob.  Wish me luck!

Happy holidays, from creepy, Elfie.

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