Moments like this are why…


I had to take a moment and share a very recent experience with you…

While I waited for my to-go lunch order, moments ago, I overheard (they were seated three inches away from me) two college students discuss the geographical location of Myrtle Beach. I sat in my chair with my head rested against its back and my eyes closed as I listened to their painfully moronic debate.

The young man said, in a pseudo-intellectual tone, “I’m pretty sure Myrtle Beach spans the coasts of both North Carolina and South Carolina.

The young woman replied, “Are you sure it’s not just in North Carolina? Wait… What’s closer to us? South Carolina or North Carolina?”

He answered, “North, I think.”

She asked, “So it’s in both states?”

He replied again, “Yes. I’m pretty sure it spans the coastline of both South Carolina and North Carolina.”

I tired to block them out as they continued their discussion about the very popular eastern tourist destination. All the while praying for my lunch to be done and my named called.

For a brief moment I tired to give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they’re not from around here or are from the west coast and not familiar with large east coast tourist spots.

But then the young man said, “Yeah, it takes me like six hours to get from North Carolina to my house in Binghamton… I think.”

Roughly 3 minutes of hell passed as they went back and forth, finally agreeing to “Google it”.

However, I could take no more and spoke up, “Myrtle Beach is a large CITY on the coast of South Carolina.”

The young woman paused in her effort to Google their burning question and they both looked at me, wide-eyed.

It must have been my tone.

She thanked me and giggled, “I don’t know geography that well.”

I nodded, “Sure thing. Happy to help.”

With that, the blessed lunch gods finished my order and I was able to get the hell outta there. On my way back to my office all I could think was… This is EXACTLY why I need a tazer!

This experience definitely rates on my top ten most painful moments list.

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