Confessions of a bad mom… the lice scare

liceConfession of a bad mom:  There is one word that puts true fear and anxiety into the hearts of parents (mothers) everywhere. That word is LICE.  The noun immediately makes one itch their head and contemplate burning down their house- just in case. The very thought of bugs crawling on my scalp and laying eggs is enough to make me want to shave myself bald and treat my scalp with something flammable- like kerosene (which was actually used years ago to treat head lice).  I never worried too much about it with the boys, but now that I have a little girl with glorious locks, I’m freaked out all the time… because it’s inevitable!  At the mere mention of an itchy head, I’m all like, “What?????  Let me see your head!!! Does anyone else have an itchy head in school?” And not just because it’s gross, but also because treating lice not only involves washing your child’s head 15 million times and combing and combing and combing nits out, but also treating your ENTIRE house! ENTIRE house!!!!!! EVERYTHING has to be washed, stuffed animals and toys have to be bagged, carpets have to be cleaned! And as a mother of four children who works full-time with a husband who works a crazy schedule and mountains of laundry already- that is more than enough to send one into full freak-out mode.

So I’m sure you’ll empathize with me as I share what went down this morning.  While heading out the door to school, I paused to fix Ailey’s bow in her clean (washed the night before) hair and notice little white flecks everywhere.  I immediately began an inspection- right there on the sidewalk. “Does your head itch????!!!!”

“No, why?”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  Why?”

After combing through her hair, my heart hammering in my chest, I deduced that it was not lice, but the hair detangler spray she used to prevent her “staticky” hair from “looking like chicken head.”  But just to be on the safe side (and because I was mildly freaked out), I swung by my best friends house for further confirmation- as the mother of two little girls, she’s become quite experienced with such matters… unfortunately.  After a great deal of inspection (and mumbled expletives from me) we were confident that it was just the spray that had dried. As I rounded the corner to drop her at school, I placed a call to her teacher explaining the situation, who also performed an inspection upon her arrival to class and confirmed all was well. In the spirit of the Thanksgiving season, I took some calming deep breaths, offered up prayers to sweet baby Jesus and I tired to ignore my own itchy head.

I’m thinking about getting some lice medication to have on hand- just in case… and maybe a prescription for some Quaaludes.

#itsalwaysgoodtobeprepared #wineaintgonnacutit

#licelikecleanhair #itcanhappentoanyone #myheadisstillitching


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Meghan K. Dwyer

Meghan K. Dwyer is an aspiring writer, misanthrope, cystic fibrosis advocate, wife and mother of four beautiful children. She lives in rural Western New York with her husband Chris and their four children Braeden, Kian, Kelan, and Ailey. She has a love of writing and in her spare time, enjoys a good book, sharing a glass of wine with friends or family and gardening. The name of her blog A Message of Mean from Meghan was inspired by an email containing that title, which was sent to her sister and friend. Her writing is full of sarcasm and truthful, yet at times, abrasive humor. Her blog is about sharing her thoughts of her day, confessions as a mother, and opinions about life in general as a kind of therapy. Meghan is the author of The Ellington Manor Series- a three book publication. When One Door Closes, Almost Forgotten and Hoping for Happiness are all available on and Barns& as well as her other works, A Message of Mean from Meghan and Confessions of a Bad Mom.

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